Monday, 3 October 2011


We are social beings but sometimes we struggle to connect. What makes friemdships last and what is important in a friendship?

My best friends seem to be mainly those who I struck accord with in my early years. Having a history and going through similar experiences has definitely strengthened the bond I have with those closest to me.

Keeping friendships that don't have a history appears more difficult in my case. Even with common interests it is hard to maintain regular contact with busy lives and family commitments.

More recently those friendships I've made mainly exist around involvement in a similar interest, in my case running.

This might be a bloke thing because from my observations women seem to be able to communicate more deeply and have better skills in maintaining those friendships.

Supporting each other through the hard times and giving selflessly to those you care about seems fundamental in maintaining strong bonds.

Several years ago I wrote a song in which I tried to reflect what I felt friendships were. Interestingly the children I teach have adopted the song as a reflection of their friendships. Often they embrace each other when we sing together in class which I think is real sweet. It brings me immense joy to see my music having such an emotional impact.

The song is called Best Friends Forever. Hope you like it as much as the kids do!

Would appreciate any comments about the importance of friendship.


Lea White said...

That is a lovely song!!! I can see why the children like it so much!

A great post Paul! And very thought provoking!

Our friendships have changed quite significantly and we learned the hard way which friends would stick around and which ones won't last. A lot seemed to have changed when we moved countries and when Bianca became sick, so we know the ones who stuck around are our close friends. Typically I am usually quite reserved and guarded I guess and it can take me a little while to trust people enough to form a friendship, but when I do then I will do whatever it takes to be there for that person!

A friend to me is somebody who will simply accept you for who you are, somebody who will not expect you to try and change or do things just to impress. It is somebody you feel comfortable to be around and they feel comfortable around you. Some of my friendships are not necessarily where I have something specific in common with the other person, but rather I guess a personality thing and where in some way or another there is a connection.

A lot of my friends seem to be older than I am and I have several friendships with people from the opposite sex as well (I guess because often there is less drama and less expectation to fit in with a stereotypical image).

In my life I have some "real life" friends and quite a few "virtual / online" friends who I feel I share a connection with!

Hayley said...

As we (hubby and I), have gotten older, our circle of friends has gotten smaller. We have a few very, very close friends, who know everything about us, and us them. I treasure these friendships more than anything.

We moved away from our home town for two years, and it was then, where we realised who our true friends were. I also realised how important friendships are.

After moving back home...I never take these friendships for granted...not for a sec.

They might only be handful...but they are true friends!

LatteJunkie said...

We have moved around a fair bit and have very good friends in about five countries now. It is very hard to keep in touch even with skype and facebook and blogging.

But I am learning that the people who are important will touch base with me and understand if I skip a month and then send them six or seven emails in a row.

The daunting part of friendships for me is making new friends... it is hard to do and is something I lack confidence in.

blackhuff said...

Friendship sure are hard work especially in this day and age.
Me and hubby only have one couple who are our closet friends and who knows everything about us. We treasure this friendship so much.